Supposed To

Things that were supposed to happen today, but did not (a tragically incomplete list):

  1. Go for a run (because I was too sleepy and, immediately on waking up, stressed out about all the work I needed to get done). This has been not happening a little too often lately, especially considering that I am supposed to run a half marathon this Sunday, and a 26k trail race in the mountains exactly one month from today. I haven't done more than five miles in almost a month, and I've barely managed to squeak out one run a week for the last couple. This weekend is not going to be pretty. And while we're on the subject of not pretty...

  2. Finish grading, at least for one of my classes. This was pushing it a bit, anyway (especially considering the rest of this list), but the main reason it didn't happen was because of...

  3. Get to the doctor's office at 2 pm for 2:30 appointment, to fill out paperwork for new doctor. This didn't happen because when I got to the medical center, shortly after 2 pm... I could not for the life of me remember where the office was. The last time I was there was in July, and I've had so many doctor visits in the last year (more on that in the future), some at this same complex, I just blanked on where to go. It wasn't in my address book, because I am dumb. The people at the information desk of the main building had no clue. I tried calling the office, but they don't actually answer the phones: everything goes to voicemail, and they return calls later. Eventually I found the place, but not until I was already 10 minutes late for my appointment time, and they had to squeeze me into the schedule elsewhere. Which meant I didn't actually get in to see the doctor until after 4, and didn't get out until smack in the middle of rush hour. It was lovely, really. That also borked my plan to...

  4. Shop for ingredients on the way home from the doctor, then bake these cookies for the Metafilter Cookie Swap, which I signed up for this year for the first time. This is going to have to happen tomorrow, which is the deadline. So I'll also have to mail them out tomorrow. While still frantically grading in the middle of all that. And being able to dress and groom myself sufficiently to meet some friends for food and drink (not necessarily definitely not in that order) in the evening. Oh, and another reason I didn't finish grading was because of having to stop and...

  5. Complete yet another set of documents for my, er, Wizard Initiation Ritual, which I was sent this afternoon by my supposed mentor, who kind of forgot about them until now. When they are of course due urgently. (This is not the first instance of such forgetting). The documents were breezily described as a minor nuisance that "shouldn't take long," which of course is code for "will leave you scratching your head about at least six different things, making you question how you were ever able to complete a PhD when you can't figure out how to fill out a simple form." I did what I could, but sent an email asking several clarifying questions, which probably won't be answered until tomorrow. Meaning they will probably get in the way of finishing something yet again. Good thing there is definitely going to be cookie making and drinks/food having tomorrow, because it might make up for today not managing to...

  6. Eat. I mean, I did ingest some food, but not very much. Most significantly, I did not manage to grill the salmon filet I'd thawed, so I have to figure out when I'm going to make that happen. I can't bear the thought of throwing out an entire filet just because I didn't manage to do everything I was supposed to.

I'm not even going to list things like all the emails sitting unanswered in my inbox, the household duties I've fallen grossly behind on, the administrative duties I need to take care of, oh, last week or so. Every single day, no matter how much I do, I'm weighed down by the burden of unfinished business. "Supposed to" is the bane of my existence.